Monday, May 10, 2010

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

My mom always says she needs to start writing a book about funny things kids say and do at school, well I have a few chapters to add to her book.  Thought I'd share a few humorous moments.

We have a new child (7 years old, I believe) who is beginning her second week at Aviano Youth Programs (AYP).  On her second day a boy threw a wiffle ball at her "boob" (verbatim) as she yelled and burst into tears.  She then proceeded to body slam the boy to the ground.  Yes, body slam.

Same child, different day.  It's raining outside and one of the counselors, Mrs. Andrea, is carrying a plaid umbrella while picking up the kids from school.  The child says, "Ms. Andrea, your umbrella looks just like a pair of my Dad's panties!"

Same child, YET another day.  She's in a classroom with one of the counselors, Mrs. Misty.  The child has a question and calls for Mrs. Whiskey.  Misty said, "did you just say Mrs. Whiskey?  My name is Mrs. MISTY, not Mrs. Whiskey!"  The child totally believed her name was Ms. Whiskey and was blissfully unaware of the humor of her mistake.  Classic.

New child, new day.  A boy in my class (age 9 or 10) looks at me and says, "I need to squeeze the lemon".  As I am processing what he just said to me, I see Misty overheard him and is dying laughing.  So I'm doing my best to hold my composure and I said, "I'm not really sure what you're trying to ask me, but I'm pretty positive you need to rephrase it before you ask me again."  He then looks and says, "I need to use the bathroom".  Yep, that's what I thought.

My, oh my!

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